 Have you ever taken a close, detailed look at your vulva and all it's parts? Most women haven't. It's a good idea so you can know your body better. There's no nice name for all your parts so I like the Sanscrit word, yoni. It's a beautiful word, don't you think? It's time we honored the female body. Sit on a towel and look at your yoni with a hand-held mirror. Does it look like a butterfly or maybe a flower, or like on the cover of the book, Femalia--with nothing but photos of yonis--a seashell. (It's a good book because it shows women how varied yonis can be. It helped me see that I was perfectly normal.)
If you are light skinned, you probably have a pink yoni. If you are dark skinned, there will be touches of dark or even black on your folds. How much and what color your pubic hair varies greatly. The fleshy areas on either side are the labia. They swell with blood and get reddish when you are aroused. Some women have flaps on either side of the urethra, the opening to the urinary tract, where urine is excreted. Sometimes the flaps are big and hanging and sometimes hardly visible. The clitoris is toward the front of all the flaps. If you touch it, it's like a hard little pea. It grows when you are aroused because it's made of the same tissue and nerves as a man's penis. There are actually more nerve endings in your clitoris than in a penis. Most of the clitoris is hidden beneath the surface, deep inside of your body. That's why a woman's orgasm feels so full-bodied and deep.
If this is your first time, you might want to "set the mood" by pampering yourself. Take a warm bath with some nice smelling bubble bath or oil. Think of it as making love to yourself. Do you have a sexy outfit that makes you feel beautiful? Why not put it on. What about some sensual music, some candles, a little essential oil? Maybe dance to the music. Enjoy how beautiful and sensual you are.
When you're ready, lie down and make yourself comfortable. Be sure the room is warm and cozy. Touch yourself anywhere it feels good. Stroke your body with a featherlight touch. Kind of like tickling yourself. Run your fingers along the inside of your arms, your fingers, the inside of your thighs, your feet and toes. Does it feel good to touch your breasts? Then enjoy. Where on your yoni does it feel good? Stroke and touch as you wish. Feel your clitoris, is it growing? Does it feel good to touch? Put a finger in your vagina. Feel how smooth, warm and tight it is. Imagine what it must feel like for a man to put his penis inside that chamber of sensuality. Have your ever tasted your juices? Do so and you'll know what a man tastes when he pleasures you with his mouth.
Wet your finger and rub your clitoris. Up and down, sideways, soft or hard, fast and slow, any way that pleasures you. Does it feel better with your legs spread, or one knee bent? Experiment with different positions. Which finger feels best? Which hand? Keep rubbing as long as you want. Sometimes, if you stop for a few moments, the feelings are stronger when you begin again. Notice if it feels better if you clench your muscles--the ones you use when you stop the flow of urine. Usually it helps focus the feelings and intensifies them. There's an exercise called Kegels that can help strengthen these muscles. Read "Exercise Your Sex Muscles."
If you've never had an orgasm, keep rubbing your clitoris in whatever way feels good. Clench your muscles, focus your attention on what you're feeling. If you want, fantasize about someone sexy, doing something very sexy. This keeps your attention focused. Keep rubbing, sometimes stop for a few moments if you want, then continue. It helps to keep your finger wet, either with your mouth or with your vaginal juices. As long as it feels good, keep rubbing and you will have an orgasm. You'll know because there will be a shift in pleasure. It will intensify into a kind of volcano erupting. Then, as the lava flows over the mountain, your pleasure will begin to soften. Keep rubbing until your orgasm has completed itself. If you wish, you can wait a few minutes--you'll have to experiment with how long--and give yourself the gift of another orgasm. You'll know when the time is right. Too soon and it's still too tender to touch, too late and it doesn't feel good--at least in the right way. With practice, you can have several orgasms in a row. They will probably get weaker with each one, but for some women, they get stronger. That's why women are such a mystery. They're all different, and even the same woman can have a very different experience each time, depending on her mood, the time of month, and her partner.
Most important to having a good experience is being relaxed and comfortable. Some people think it's bad to masturbate. I don't think God would have given us such a wonderful feeling if it was bad. And the clitoris has no other purpose than pleasure. Think about it. What an amazing gift. Thank you God and Goddess.
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