 How long has it been since you thought about why you married your husband? Been a while? Here's another question. How long has it been since you thought about what he does that irritates, frustrates or angers you? Does the second category show up a little more often? If you want to do something nice for your marriage here's an idea.
Do this alone or, if you have a husband who is interested in improving your marriage, do it together. I'll assume you will do it together in hopes that you really will. First, each of you make a list of why you got married. What were your hopes, dreams, expectations? What emotional qualities did you desire? What was it about your partner that made you think you could fulfill your dreams with this person?
Now look at your list and determine, on a one to ten scale, how satisfied you are with each item. In other words, are you getting what you wanted? One is not at all, and ten is you are getting exactly what you'd hoped for. You can do less than one and more than ten.
Next, make a list of your complaints about your partner and about the state of your relationship, especially as it compares to the above list.
Now look at your list of hopes and on any items with a score with which you are pleased, try to explain why you and your husband have enjoyed success. Then look at the items with a score with which you are displeased and do your best to explain why the score is not higher. You might find yourself looking at the faults of your partner but you must also look at your own part in why your relationship is in the state that it is, both the good and bad aspects.
Now for possibly the most difficult part of this exercise, share you list with each other. This will take real trust and openness so keep in mind that the goal is to enrich and enhance your relationship. If you can have a truly heartfelt conversation that is non-blaming, and honest, you could find that you have ventured into a new level of intimacy with each other. This could just possibly open a door to discovering the deepest, most profound love you have ever experienced.
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 Love and Relationship Index
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